Religion

I wrote a very personal article today. I don't know why, but Associated Content targeted me with an assignment titled "I don't believe in God because..." and I accepted it right away.

Before I knew it, I was deep inside an article about a topic so close to me that even most of my friends and family aren't aware of it. I'm not going to repeat the whole article here, but it made me wonder again about fear and writing. If people I know see what I've written, they'll see that I'm an atheist now. And what will they think of me?

I hope this doesn't come back and bite me in the future, but for now I'm glad I wrote that article. It's true to who I am and who I want to be, and I think that's the bottom line.

Read more...

Keeping e-busy

I've updated this page with a new layout, header, and a widget for my Twitter account that you'll see just over to the right. Since I'm planning on tweeting new articles whenever they're published, you'll be able to see them over there instead of having to dig through my posts for links.

I also pointed my domain, jadenkelly.com, to this page. Now you'll be able to access it through that or jadenkelly.blogspot.com, whichever you prefer.

I've been slacking off the past few days, not getting much writing done. I'm working myself into a minor panic waiting for Associated Content to review two articles I submitted for upfront payment. I'm considering applying to Demand Studios - has anyone ever heard about them?

I'm probably off to get this week's Examiner articles up. It seems like I get more views when I publish one of those per day instead of slapping five together in a 24-hour period, probably because of the way they promote the articles.

I'm already starting to wish it wasn't all about the page views, but it's not so bad as long as I'm writing something people want to read. I haven't done a lot of promoting and at least a few people think my content is interesting anyway. It should turn out well once I can make myself sit down and work more often.

Read more...

Motivation

I am not a motivated person.

In fact, I have chosen so far not to share this blog and much of my online writing with my friends and family simply because they have seen me come up with so many crazy plans and fail to follow through. I'd love the views, the clicks on my Examiner and Associated Content profile pages and articles. But it's scary.

It's funny how my fears run so contrary to my goals as a writer. If I'm scared to show my work to friends and family who have stuck by me for this long, what am I going to do when something I've written gets a bad review?

Or maybe that's not the issue. Maybe I just want to fall into this pattern of safely writing when I feel like it, never being bothered for more or asked when I'll update, and then if I stop feeling like writing I can quit.

Well, that's just not how it works.

There's an infinite number of guides out there on how to motivate yourself as a writer. They suggest setting aside solid blocks of time to write, because of course every writer lives alone or with family and pets who are considerate enough to keep to themselves for more than five minutes at a time.

They suggest rewarding yourself with new clothes or a nice meal out. I guess a 99 cent burrito from Taco Bell might fall under that category.

I'm sure these tips work for some people, but to me they sound like self-discipline for those already capable of self-discipline. I stick by the idea that if you care enough about something, it's not lack of motivation that's holding you back. It's fear.

For the past few days I've been relentlessly working at mindless little tasks -- cooking, cleaning, job applications. But I haven't wanted to write. There's a lot of fear in art. What's beautiful to you isn't beautiful to everyone. You're exposing your inner world and anyone who criticizes it is criticizing you.

I guess the key is to learn not to take it personally. Everyone dreams of having themselves and their work in the spotlight, and you'll never get there if you can't handle someone, somewhere disliking who you are.

Read more...

Social networking?

I'm young. I'm 22 and in college. Shouldn't I be off playing Farmville or something?

I don't get social networking. To some extent I do get blogging, or I wouldn't be here. I understand the concept of having something to say and wanting it heard, though if I wasn't out here trying to promote my writing I'd probably still stick by the idea that I got my life's worth of whiny neediness out in my high school livejournal.

Maybe it comes down to the plain fact that I'm antisocial. I'm not the intended audience. I don't want to know what the guy who sits next to me in history is doing Friday night. Good for him, but I don't care.

Except then that guy ends up getting a great job as a local newspaper columnist and posts to his Facebook that there are more openings to be had, and I'm not watching because I'm not willing to slog through the morning-after posts and kissy face pictures.

I sound angry, but there's no one to be mad at but myself. After a full day spent writing and promoting content, I made roughly fifty cents. I want to say that it'll pick up as I get more articles out there. If I make one cent a view but only get one view per article every day, then all I have to do is write a couple hundred articles...

Ah, well. My grandma's been asking for a computer. Maybe I'll give her my old laptop and the two of us will learn how to live in this century together.

Read more...